Friday, August 20, 2010

Time Isn't On Our Side

With a child nearing the teenage years and all the emotional turmoil that accompanies that, I have spent a lot of time lately thinking and praying about my parenting. My children have always been important to me, but lately, I feel like my time with them is just evaporating before my eyes. In asking God to help me navigate through what I and everyone else in my home is feeling, He led me to take a verse inside out and truly think about it. I wanted to share with you what God has opened my eyes to.




Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.



I have always known and loved this verse, even when it intimidated or frightened me. I love that God knew I would be wondering, fearing and begging someone to tell me what to do, so He told me in advance.

I have to admit that in the past, when I would read this verse, I would always think future tense- as if I had all the time in the world. When you have babies, it is easy to forecast the “training” for later, when things get tougher. It was easy for me to tuck that verse away in my heart as some sort of insurance plan that I would lean on when my kids turned 18. I didn’t have a clear picture of “training up” anyway, so it was at best, an obscure promise to me. But when I prayed and studied this verse, I realized something totally different.



I have been trained in several things. When I was younger, I played softball and we would have “training”. It was intense, fun and focused. We played ball EVERYDAY and now that I’m older, I still have a talent for ball.



I also “trained” in the color guard. I remember weeks in my summers where I spent so much time flipping a flag or marching that I didn’t have the energy to do anything else for days at a time. It was intense, fun and focused. I spent weeks and months learning routines and tosses and spins and now that I’m older, I still have a talent with a flag.



In both instances, the training began as soon as I joined the team and it never really ended. I didn’t spend 12 hours prior to a game learning what the 3rd baseman does in a double-play. I knew it probably 5 years before I had to use it in a game. I knew how to bunt years before I was called to do so. I knew the rules of the game well enough to keep a legal book before I was 10. I was asked to keep a legal book my senior year (and every year since my children starting playing ball). The training was PRESENT TENSE for FUTURE USE.



Thinking about training in this manner changes what I believed about that verse. My kids won’t have a “character camp” between their 17th and 18th birthdays in which we will equip them for life. I have been “training” them since they were born to be one way or another. For example, when I think about this verse in light of the fact that I have always been training my children, whether for the good or for the bad, I can come up with some pretty scary projections. I am going to make a list. Some of these will be personal to my family, others will be random things you might be teaching your children. Some of you, when reading these statements, may realize they are true for you. Read them and personalize them and CHANGE them.



I have trained my children to disrespect authority (talking back, rolling their eyes, whining at chore-time…) and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to think only of themselves and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to do the right thing when people are watching and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to be lazy and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to run to God only when something is wrong and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to be pessimistic and never give God praise or Glory and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to be wild and disobedient and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to keep thier emotions hidden and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my sons to disrepsect and dishonor women and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my daughters not to depend on a man for anything and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children to be dishonest and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



I have trained my children not to speak up when they need to and when they are old, they will not depart from it.



…The list could go on and on.



I DO NOT WANT THIS LIST TO BE MY LIST!



I believe that God has also shown us how to train our children the right way. He is the Ultimate Father and He makes no mistakes, so we can confidently look to Him for parenting tips.



He is always honest.



He is always loving.



He always looks out for what’s best for us, even when we can’t see it.



He is always consistent.



He is firm, but loving.



He is a promise keeper.







I truly believe I have found the answers to my questions and fears. I pray that you will run to God with your children in your hands and ask your Father to show you what to do!

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